stevechristian

Expert Rating:

1

(PG-13) Crude and sexual content throughout

Adam Sandler
John Turturro
Lanie Lazan
Emmanuelle Chriqui|
Rob Schneider
Michael Buffer

Adam Sandler movies are a mixed lot. Some seem very sweet and even inspired. Some seem to fall flat on their face. Yet he is a huge star to his fans. They go to all his movies. In Hollywood “he is bank”, as in “money in the bank”. He’s a huge box office success story. Virtually everything is a hit. My favorites would be one of his first, The Wedding Singer, and then later, Spanglish. But I must say, and this will pain my Sandler-loyal friends out there- this film is a huge failure. It is bad. Really bad. I had read a review of another critic that I follow, and they ran on and on about how offensive it was, and so I wanted to be open-minded when I sat down in the theatre. Yet, with the constant mediocrity on screen I began to feel insulted myself. Not with the material, but with idea that I had plunked down my hard-earned cash down to see this “effort”. Sandler and his friends are laughing all the way to the bank, after producing something this poor. Now that IS offensive. Yet it all started so promisingly. Sandler plays a Mossad agent who is tired of killing the bad guys (Palestinians), and only wants to live a simple life cutting hair, as a hair stylist. This is a “high concept” film if I ever heard of one. Simply put, and as Wikipedia says, “a movie described as being 'high concept' is considered easy to sell to a wide audience because it delivers upon an easy to grasp idea that is original, interesting, colorful, and often humorous.” Meaning there was the day once, when Sandler sat in some producers office and said something like, “OK, we’ll have a world renown Israeli agent who decides to give it all up- to be a hair-stylist”. Where-upon the producer giggles, and says “I love it”, and gives the thumbs up. Perhaps a great skit on Saturday Night Live (Sandlers’ beginnings), but not a full length feature film. Yet based on Sandlers track record of so many hit movies, here it is. Well, sorry Adam. It stinks. I’d love to say that I was unable to see the film, because so many people were leaving that all I saw were the backs of their heads as they left. But truthfully I was near the front row of the theatre, and thus got it all, close up. No- instead the faithful were there, and occasionally laughing. Perhaps I am tone deaf to his films. Perhaps I just don’t get it. But, if a star has to repeatedly refer to the size of his Swantzis.. to get a laugh, then I guess I just don’t. The first dozen times were enough, thank you. OK, the plot, for those who care. Sandler is an Israeli agent, world renown for finding and killing Palestinian agents. But he fakes his own death to live out his dream, being a hair dresser in New York. Ironically his scenes as an agent are the films most funny. If he had stayed in that arena it would have been a success. Nevertheless he moves on to New York. There are those who give credit to Sandler as writer, along with buddy Robert Smigel, and Judd Aptow (Knocked-up, Superbad). They theoretically tackled a tough subject. The centuries long unrest between the Palestinians and the Jewish people (Israel). And indeed it is covered- to a degree. But the movie is so bad you get distracted away from that topic. And it must be said that Rob Schneider actually looks like he is acting in this film, as a Palestinian immigrant who recognizes Sandlers secret agent face, and wants to out him. Schneider’s career has virtually been on permanent hold since the Duece Bigalow films. But his attempt is not enough to even put a dent in this film’s badness. All films ask us to suspend belief in the real world to some extent, and to live in theirs. But this film asks us to think a real world exists where it is OK to openly have sex with the overweight elderly customers of a hair salon. Not only do I not care, it is just ridiculous(!) It breaks the number ONE code of any comedy.. it is not funny.

I learned many years ago, as a radio DJ who worked as the “Morning DJ” on various radio stations, that you can get away with almost anything, ANYTHING, IF- it is funny. You can say, do, read, repeat, remind, cajole, pick-on anything and anyone- IF it is funny. Because, if it is NOT funny, all your prejudices are exposed. It simply has to be funny.

Funny- you get a free pass. Not funny, no pass. Sandler gets no pass. I predict a great opening weekend (because of his name), then a huge drop-off in the weeks that follow. There are just too many great films coming down the river. Its this weeks flavor, and will soon be forgotten. Sorry.